Our family loves to travel. We pack our carry-ons every chance we get and embark on as many experiences as our budget will allow. Vacations can be a little slice of heaven, unless you are in the company of a surly teenager. An idyllic day at the beach or a theme park can quickly turn ominous and miserable for everyone.
As Labor Day quickly approaches, you may be considering a family vacation to soak up the fleeting days of summer. Just having returned from a trip abroad with my preteen and teenager, I'd like to share tips that helped us return home with our sanity (somewhat) intact.
1. Give them a say (and some responsibility). Nothing kills a teen's enthusiasm like a surprise itinerary filled with "boring" activities. Before making the trek to the Saltee Islands, I showed my kids a YouTube video to gauge their interest. I was also transparent about what getting there would entail: we needed to get up early, catch a bus, and then wait for a ferry. We would be on the island, which had no bathroom, for three hours. We would be doing all of this without my husband, who had a work obligation that day.
I braced myself for their reaction. However, once they saw this amazing location, they were on board with whatever they needed to do to make it happen.
Involve your children in the planning process from the very start. Let them help choose the destination, research activities, or even plan a day of the trip. This not only gives them a sense of ownership but also builds valuable life skills like budgeting and navigation. You might be surprised by their tech-savviness in finding the food trucks with the most delectable cuisine or the destinations with the most Instagram-worthy spots.
2. Embrace the downtime. A jam-packed schedule of museums, tours, and early wake-ups is a recipe for disaster. Teenagers need rest, and they crave a break from the constant go-go-go. Build plenty of downtime into your itinerary.
This could mean a lazy morning at the hotel, a few hours by the pool, or simply some alone time to listen to music or connect with friends back home. It could also mean allowing them to opt out of that morning's or evening's activities completely. Respecting their need for space will make them more willing to engage during the non-negotiable, planned family activities.
3. Get creative with technology. Instead of fighting the screens, put them to good use. Task your teens with being the family photographer or videographer. Let them use their phones to navigate public transport or find a local eatery. You can even create a friendly competition, like a photo scavenger hunt or a contest to find the best local dessert.
Depending on where you're traveling, wifi may not be readily available, so encouraging the artsy use of phones will challenge your child to think in new ways.
4. Carve out some tech-free time. We packed games like magnetic chess and Klaus Teuber's Catan Dice Game, graphic novels, word searches, travel journals, and sketchbooks. These things were not only perfect to detox from those days when my two indulged in too much technology, but they were a welcome respite when inevitable annoyances like delayed flights, long lines, and layovers temporarily thwarted our fun.
5. Nurture their inner toddler. Remember about a decade ago when they melted down about seemingly nothing and a handful of Goldfish and a sippy cup filled to the brim with cold apple juice did the trick? Our overgrown tykes still need our grounding, reassuring presence, whether they want to admit it or not. As challenging as it may seem, compassion is the answer. A grumpy, irritable teen can sometimes be remedied by a restful sleep, a yummy snack, or a long hug (if they'll let you).
Traveling with teens is not for the faint of heart, but it can be incredibly rewarding. Through collaboration and connection, you can cultivate a vacation that everyone, even the most reluctant teen, will cherish.
